Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I think I need a holiday

This morning when I was about to leave for work I almost had a heart attack. I couldn't find my favorite Bally shoes. The past week the roads in our area are being resurfaced and that means strangers are free to walk up and down the street. We live in a private and guarded area so we never close our gates, one because we don't have those electric remote control gates and two, it rains almost everyday nowadays so I hate to get myself wet while opening the gates, which I will if we keep them closed.

Imagine me not finding my shoes. I shrieked and asked frantically to my husband if someone had entered into our compound and took my shoes from the shoe closet. Hubby was as scared as me, but more for fear of our house being trespassed more than anything else obviously. I frantically ran to the store room. Looked in the Bally boxes, no black heels in sight. I was already hyperventilating. Ran to the patio and raided the shoe closet there. Opened my gardener's storage/closet. Didn't find them there too. I was already close to tears and ready to call in sick. I ran back to the store inside the house and looked in EVERY box. And there they were, my Bally heels. Tucked safely in a Nine West box. What was I thinking keeping shoes astray from their rightful box?

Why did I react this way today? Could it be because dear Ruby wrote a tragic post of missing shoe collection and that I totally feel her pain? After the bad days at the office I wasn't prepared for more in my private life.

I keep forgetting things nowadays. I need a holiday. Or maybe a shrink.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

It's My Blog and I'll Whine If I Want To


Hmmm been a while since I last wrote. And all postings had been put on halt due to crazy schedule and manic turn of events at work. Well now since I possess the will to write I shall tell you about the turn of event of my life at work last week.

As most of you would've already known, I was a SAHM previously until I decided to get back to work full time in March this year due to a too-good-to-resist offer as an Office Manager. I wish I could say it was to good due to its monetary factor, but no, I gave that up for the location (5 minutes drive from home) and portfolio (relatively less stress than my old portfolio in terms of travelling and work load). In my life before as a career woman I was the Head of Corporate Communications at a telecommunication company that is affiliated (a subsidiary actually) to the monopoly in terms of almost everything telecommunications in Malaysia. I can say that I am used to office politics, even I wasn't spared from directors' bereaucracy. What I will not get used to is petty and/or personal attacking colleagues/superiors and unprofessional work manner. This, my peeps, is the root cause to my whining. Those who can't take it, please proceed to the online stores in teh Interweb for your holiday shopping, you're better off doing that than complain later why I shouldn't whine. Like I said in my title post, it's my blog so go figure. Yes, I may be small and look nice, but I was also born with the ability to snap and bite.

I had my probation assessment done last week after a 2 month delay due to my direct superior's secondment to another company and getting a time together had been a challenge. Nevertheless the time was made anyway last Thursday. Before we went on formally my boss (hereinafter refered to as Person #1) actually pushed the papers aside and "talked". I sensed it was the kind of talk a guy gives his girlfriend before saying "We're not right for each other", only this wasn't that, nor was Person #1 firing me, but the kind that tells you to buck up for what's coming next. He was very professional through it all, and remained so till the end and I had no qualms whatsoever. But when he started telling me that prior to seeing me he consulted the second person in line (hereinafter refered to as Person #2) because of his being away for 3 months now and Person #2 supervising me in his absence was the moment my gut feelings were cemented. After the whole gammut of "How do you think you're doing here?", "How do you like working with the people here?", yada yada yada, Person #1 began this whole thing about him being different, how he knew what that felt like and that he didn't mean it in any bad way at all. Uh huh, I knew where he was getting at. Person #1 conveyed to me that he gathered from Person #2 that some people at the workplace expressed difficulty communicating with me because of my "socio-economy standing", my "personality" and my "background". These are not the people in the same company I work in rather those attached to our sister companies and under the same roof.

My whine #1: since when being different is bad?

Whine #2: so if other people can't communicate well with me, it's my fault???

Person #1 analogized me further with the owner cum Executive Chairman's daughter (who's also a staff). Now, this was a lady of extreme wealth and social standing, dresses designer from head to toe and carefree (at last that's what I think). In my heart of course I was flattered, come on, admit you like that too when you get it. But feling flattered and irritated over the same thing is crazy, no?

To that person/s who couldn't/can't communicate with me because of me: Fuck you! Fuck your twisted mind!

This being done, Person #2 joined us to commence the joint evaluation. A set of questions were run through, 1 to 5 points style, 5 being the highest. I hover between 3 and 5 in all categories. It got personal when Person #1 wanted to rate me 5 and Person #2 mentioned (with me there) she never got a 5 and she never gave a 5 (except for another friend of mine - of course I know, I'm the office manager! I handle all documents), and "Why should she get a 5?". S.H.I.T. Because I'm good, duhhhh. To strike a balance between them I looked on while box number 4 was checked. F.U.C.K.

Might I add that our evaluation form was a lousy one even Person #1 couldn't believe such a point system was still in use. Anyways, we sailed through and Person #1 tried the best to give me a high rating, and after 2 rounds of doing so I admitted to feeling indifferent when he asked.

Whine #3: why are you complaining now, surely you have seen this form before evaluating Person #2? She reports to you too. Aaaaah no, she got confirmed over talking over lunch downstairs.... (nope didn't make this one up, Person #2 merely answered when I asked.)

Whine #4: I am tired with myself already thinking why the hell wasn't I my usual inquisitive self during the assessment....



Person #2 apologized to me the next day and admitted she wasn't good at managerial matters. Chill dude. I'm professional. And I expect you to be one too.

Whine #5: you don't apologize after blatantly and intentionally bashing someone, especially after a work appraisal. GOSH!!



Person #2 requsted for new set of business cards early last week. I ordered 2 boxes. Today she tells me I have to design a new internal requisition form for purchases like this after I handed her the purchase order to sign. She says she might not want to order 2 boxes if she had known the price (she's ordered 2 sets before, each different than the last. 2 blocks for printing have been created for her. 1 box of card = RM35. 1 block = RM17. Hang on a minute, is she complaining over a 70 bucks worth of purchase that she instructed me to do???). Don't give me that condascending "Sometimes our memory doesn't serve us right" when you won't admit your state of mind. Do it like I do, ADMIT you're forgetful. I won't blame you for it because I know you're a busy woman.

Whine #6: why oh why did you ask me to create a monthly burn sheet if you don't check it?!?!

Whine #7: I might as well be the Admin Department and Human Resources Department on top of the Office Manager post I'm holding. Why do we want to duplicate and replicate this process when all she can do is ask the Admins for all the forms and estimations on earth when she needs to????


To the bitches and man-bitches in the company with communication defficiency syndrome, fuck yourselves! I don't have to like you to do my job and vice versa. I am there to work. Not make nice. If I dropped dead y'all still work, wontcha?? Save your hypocrite selves for someone else.

Now my take on how I look: "Don't hate me coz I'm beautiful!" MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!